It is hard at times as a creative person to have my main (currently only) output to be a blog wrapped around cycling. There are photos, stories, heartache and levels of love missing from these pages.
For most of my high school through my early 20’s I had a site and online persona under the name of “Arsbars.” Don’t ask me where the name came from as it was something I picked up in grade school. Fumbling through the internet the other night I found remnants of high school, people and memories that I had buried in my memory bank. Faces looking so young and so long ago.
You’ve seen a lot of changes over the past few weeks in this site. I’ve been pushing a lot of effort into this site while dealing with heartache, closure and finding myself. This past weekend when I talked about the friendship I have with Charles I realized that my online community have friends have been one of the main reasons I have survived over the past 5 years of life.
It’s frightening to type that. To rely on people you barely know to pick you up when you need, to be the sounding board and back board when you are moments from the buzzer. Currently I am in phase of breaking down and rebuilding. There are moments of sadness but in the thick of it I am doing it for my core, my mind and my soul.
Life is hard, life is designed to be ups and downs so that when you find those moments of love, passion, laughter and completeness…you hold on tightly. There have been many moments of recent time that I was reminded of many gifts. One of those gifts is anyone that is reading this, anyone that replies to my midnight rants on Twitter or encourages me with photos of love on Facebook.
Thank you, I’m here for you and I hope you are getting out of it as much as I am.