It is hard at times as a creative person to have my main (currently only) output to be a blog wrapped around cycling. There are photos, stories, heartache and levels of love missing from these pages.

For most of my high school through my early 20’s I had a site and online persona under the name of “Arsbars.” Don’t ask me where the name came from as it was something I picked up in grade school. Fumbling through the internet the other night I found remnants of high school, people and memories that I had buried in my memory bank. Faces looking so young and so long ago.

You’ve seen a lot of changes over the past few weeks in this site. I’ve been pushing a lot of effort into this site while dealing with heartache, closure and finding myself. This past weekend when I talked about the friendship I have with Charles I realized that my online community have friends have been one of the main reasons I have survived over the past 5 years of life.

It’s frightening to type that. To rely on people you barely know to pick you up when you need, to be the sounding board and back board when you are moments from the buzzer. Currently I am in phase of breaking down and rebuilding. There are moments of sadness but in the thick of it I am doing it for my core, my mind and my soul.

Life is hard, life is designed to be ups and downs so that when you find those moments of love, passion, laughter and completeness…you hold on tightly. There have been many moments of recent time that I was reminded of many gifts. One of those gifts is anyone that is reading this, anyone that replies to my midnight rants on Twitter or encourages me with photos of love on Facebook.

Thank you, I’m here for you and I hope you are getting out of it as much as I am.


  1. I don’t comment, reply, +1, or @reply much, but I read something of yours every day.

    Take your time.

    The ups will be higher than the downs are low. And until all is better, you can always try to ride faster than whatever it is. That and old Stevie Wonder tracks have carried me through a lot…

    Thanks for your work. Keep posting and we’ll keep reading.

    • jake…thank you! You should comment more though, it is much needed on my end. People telling me they are reading is important to keep the passion fueled

  2. Props to you for not only finding a creative outlet for yourself during a rough patch but for putting your heart on your sleeve for the world!

  3. Hey, so you don’t know me from Adam, but I’m going through similar at the moment. And my online community has been the best source of support ever. Sending much love on two wheels!

  4. Count me as another who follows you on fb, twiitter etc but doesn’t post or reply as often as I should. Here’s hoping things start to look up!


  5. Sending you (some totally non-creepy) e-hugs! I fall into your “long-time lurker” type category, but I super appreciate what you do and check in all the time.

    Ride hard, stay strong.

  6. sorry for what you’re going through. you are such a great spirit and one of the most genuine people i know. keep your chin up, that beautiful smile of yours shining through.

  7. chin up. Life is hard. It is painful. As a long time lurked I send e-hugs and offer a gentle positive thought that life will be better soon enough

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